It's 5 am on Independence Day, July 4, and an aging bone structure and a whirling mind have me wide awake. I recently wrote about my youngest son's struggle for independence from an unfair and oppressive regime (we, his parents). In honor of our country's independence, I am choosing to celebrate the victorious battles for independence in this long and often painful war.
Last weekend, my family went to our cabin on the west rim of the Pennsylvania grand canyon. Our cabin is on the second highest point on the west rim of this beautiful mountain chain. It has no running water or electricity. We use a hand pump from a well for water. Sometimes it gets too dry in the summer months, then we have to locate known natural springs and fill buckets with water. An outhouse and outdoor hanging bucket/shower nozzle are our hygiene facilities. Propane tanks fuel a refrigerator and stove. It is silent and simple and serene. My children become totally different people up in these mountains. They play together peacefully, using their imaginations. It is here, in this setting, that my son struck a blow for independence. It was a powerful moment for us all.
As I have discussed in the past, my youngest has fine motor and gross motor coordination issues. One area that has been a consistent struggle is one that comes very simply for many children. He could not coordinate his feet in the up/down/circle/rotation manner required to peddle a bicycle. As a toddler, we bought him a three wheeler, one that was low to the ground, sturdy, and used by most boys to tear around and get into serious trouble. He could never figure out the movement needed to make it go. We would crawl along beside him, moving his feet in the pattern needed to make it move, but as soon as we would let go, his feet would fly off the peddles and he would loose the rhythm. He learned early on to coax his older brother into pushing him along on it. The two of them would zip along laughing and squealing. Tons of fun for them both but not very productive for learning to master the bike.
As stated previously, our son has been consistently above average in height for his age. Because of this, it hasn't been possible for him to continue working on a bicycle that is stage appropriate for him. He has been forced by necessity to move on to bigger bikes before he was capable of riding them. His current bike is a standard child's bike with training wheels. My husband has the training wheels set in such a way that there is very little "wiggle room". They keep him upright. He just has to focus on the machinations of peddling. Up until last week, this skill was beyond his abilities. But up in these beautiful mountains, our boy finally put all the pieces together and learned to peddle. You may be thinking, "Big deal lady. He's seven. He's kinda old to be celebrating learning to peddle a bike with training wheels." AH! But this is a step toward independence! You don't know how many times we have walked along beside him, trying to steer the bike with one hand, while attempting to help him move his feet in the right pattern, while trying to walk/jog beside him. You didn't see the absolute joy on his face. You didn't hear him chanting to himself as he peddled along, "I can do it! I can do it!" You didn't see the pride beaming from that beautiful face after his brother ran back to the cabin to get his Dad to come see him riding independently down that solitary road in the mountains. If you did, you would have celebrated too. Pride. Independence. Success.
There have been many other little steps towards independence over the last few weeks. He drew an octopus family; cut them out; and used only a tiny dab of glue to turn them into Popsicle stick puppets. In the past, there would have been a mountain of paste on the table, marker/crayon written all over the table, and paper scraps everywhere from the failed attempts to cut them out. But this time, there was success. A battle won for independence. He has been writing cards and letters, and signs CONSTANTLY this summer. Last week he declared it was "brudder's day" and made his older brother a card to celebrate. Two days ago, he made a sign asking the vampires to not hurt his brother's girlfriend. (??) Yesterday, he made me a card thanking me for making beef and noodles and using my "brane" to help him. Writing used to be a huge area of concern for us. It was such a struggle. Now he wants to do it all the time. It's still difficult to read at times, and not totally age appropriate yet, but it's a battle won in the war for independence.
Last night, his older brother had an open track event at a local school. We all went to support him and cheer him on. Our youngest son stood by the gate to the track while we sat in the stands. He cheered for his brother and hugged him in celebration after every event. As the evening began to wind down, our youngest ran to us and declared that he wanted to run too. It gave me pause. Should we let him? Could he do it? What if he lagged far behind and was embarrassed? What if he fell and hurt himself? Because it is an open event for all ages, we told him yes. Next time we came, we would sign him up for the 50 meter and the 100 meter. He is sooo excited. But he really wants to run the hurdles. *sigh* We told him let's take it one step at a time. Knowing our boy and his battles for independence, knowing our desire to help him grow and develop as he should, I'll probably be telling you about how he defied all expectations and ran over the hurdles.
Thank you Lord for the battles. They can be ugly and exhausting. They can also bring about change and growth. We are grateful for that. He continues to push the boundaries. He continues to surprise us. Thank you for watching over him, providing safety, and guiding us as we attempt to help him become the man that you would want him to be.
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