I can't believe he's six. It seems to have been just the blink of an eye. In some ways, it has also been the longest, hardest, most trying six years of my life. That's how life with my youngest child is, an oxymoron. Great joy. Overwhelming frustration. Deep love. Bitter disappointment. Glimpses of God's plan and grace.
After our youngest child was born, it soon became apparent that life with him was not going to proceed as I had envisioned it. While he was the sweetest natured baby I ever could have asked for, he was sick. A lot. As he grew and developed, that quiet, gentle disposition continued, but it became apparent that he wasn't reaching appropriate milestones. Through those early years of tests and therapy and medical treatment, I held onto the hope that once we did this, or once we did that, he would be "normal". It wasn't until he was almost four that I realized that "normal" wasn't going to happen. At least not in the way that I had imagined. I had a picture in my mind of how I thought his life should be. In a way, it was like my dreams for him had to die in order for me to see and accept him for who and how he was. I had to give up my expectations and learn to love him for who he was. Let me tell you who my son is at the age of six.
He is a teaser. He loves for someone to tease and harass him in a loving way because he loves to dish it right back. My grandmother is a woman with sharp wits and a sharper tongue. I love to watch the two of them together. The joy they both get out of harassing each other is priceless. He and his father are the same way. My oldest son and I just sit back and watch the two of them go through a verbal dance of sorts as they tease one another.
There is nothing my son likes more than a good laugh. When he laughs, it comes from his toes in a full open mouthed belly laugh. It's the kind of laugh that babies have but often seem to lose as they grow. If he is laughing, I guarantee those around him are too. It's contagious. His laughter is never at someone else's expense. It is from a place of pure joy and happiness.
He is bull headed and strong willed. I often call him "Rain Man" because once he gets an idea in his head, he doesn't let it go. No amount of pleading, threatening, reasoning, or bullying will get him to change his mind. It only delays the inevitable. This is an annoying characteristic in a child but may serve him well as an adult. He will not be swayed from his convictions.
Our son finds joy in the simplest of things. For his birthday this year, all he asked was to "go to Hooplas with my family" and for a "special cake". On the day of his birthday, we decided we were going to play games and eat at Hooplas as he had requested. Because of that, we chose to wait to give him his presents until the day of his party with the rest of the family. Not once, did he question where his presents were or if he was even getting presents. He was totally satisfied with the idea of going out for the evening with his family.
He is the hyper, distracted, impulsive boy with gross motor, fine motor, and speech delays. During the lag time stage of his developmental cycle, he stutters and chews on everything he gets his hands on, including his clothing. He daydreams and seems to be somewhere else when you want him to be focused on the task at hand. Our son is the kid in class who seems to take forever to master a skill and you wonder if he's ever going to get it. He's the guy that the teacher loves but he drives her absolutely crazy at times. He leaves her wondering, "What am I going to do with this kid?" Join the club. We often wonder the same thing.
Finally, he is a people person. He absolutely loves people and people love him. There are almost too many examples of this to share. On the afternoon of his birthday, as he got on the bus, the middle school and high school kids starting singing Happy Birthday to him. He's only in kindergarten but the older kids take turns entertaining him, in part, because he is so much fun to be around. I often say that he takes a party wherever he goes. When we went to my oldest son's basketball game this weekend, it seemed like every other person going into or coming out of the gymnasium said hi to my youngest son. He seemed to know everyone. Once inside the gym and seated to watch the game, a high school girl turned around and said hi to my son. Apparently, it was "last week's girlfriend" from the bus. Before I knew it, he had slid down the bleachers and was cuddled up next to this girl drawing on her I-Pad with her. They entertained each other for the whole game.
Our son will probably never become what I had envisioned for him. I'm so glad, because although it hurt to lose that dream, the reality of who he is, and who he is becoming is so much greater than I could have imagined. And maybe, just maybe, through him, I and those who are fortunate enough to have him in their lives may get to become more than we imagined for ourselves.
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