What Gets You Through the Tough Times?

I have an amazing life filled with beautiful people and innumerable blessings.  Many things in my life also haven't gone as expected.  I couldn't be more grateful for those unforeseen circumstances because without them I wouldn't be who I am today.  Those trials have made me stronger as a person and more faithful as a believer.  There are two guiding truths that I try to live by.  Your attitude and your choices help determine your circumstances.  God's grace gets you through those circumstances when you can't do it on your own.

Your perspective on the people and situations that you encounter often determines the final outcome.  Truth be told, there are days I don't know if I can deal with all that life has given me but I look at it this way, what's the alternative?  Give up?  Give in?  Quit?  Walk out?  Walk away?  Those are choices.  Doing nothing is a choice.  Standing strong.  Fighting back.  Educating yourself.  Working hard.  Those are choices.  I choose the positive choices whenever possible.  That's where attitude comes in.

I have bad days.  You've read about them in this blog.  There are days I feel sad, beat down, angry, let down.  But my attitude determines what I do with those feelings.  I refuse to let those feelings influence my decisions.  I choose instead to use those feelings to fuel my determination in a positive direction.  My attitude is that families stick together.  Period.  Kids are not disposable.  Period.  Marriages are not temporary.  Period.  At times, life can be unfair and downright rotten.  Get over it.  Move forward.  If something is wrong, fix it.  Don't play the victim in your life.  Get angry and find a solution.

These aren't empty words.  Those that know me, know that I stand by them.  Some of you know some of my past but very few know all of it.  Those that know me well know that I will overcome anything you put in my path.  Anything.

Why?

God's grace.  It's not my strength.  It's not my determination.  I'm not that strong.  I am weak and flawed and screw up royally.  God's grace gives my strength when I am weak.  He gives me answers when I have none.  He's the voice in my head giving me pause or pushing me forward.  I'm not that strong.  God is.

My ferociously strong autistic girl stood before me, bellowing her rage and injustice at the world.  I felt my anger rise to the surface.  At that moment, a little voice inside told me "Take a breath. Breathe deep."  I offered up a silent prayer Let me say the right words.  Let me know the right course of action.  Not knowing where the words came from, I calmly heard myself say "Please stop yelling at me.  I love you.  You know I'm not what has you upset.  You know what the real problem is.  Stop yelling and talk to me."  She stopped, threw her arms around me and said "I love you.  I'm sorry." and started telling me that she's terrified because she's being transferred to a new program soon and she doesn't know how to handle it.

A few short hours later, I walk into my home to see my son ready for battle.  His body tight with anger, eyes shooting messages that I don't understand.  I can see where this is going and it's not anywhere positive.  I'm tired.  I've already put in a long day.  Can't I just come home to a loving family, a peaceful evening?  As he starts to launch into a fit, I hear that quiet voice inside guiding me "Take a breath.  Breathe deep."  I hear myself say I love you.  Please stop yelling at me and tell me what's wrong. 

I always regret the moments when I choose to ignore that quiet guiding voice inside because I'm tired or frustrated or just sick of being the bigger person.  Those moments never end positively and I'm always left with regret.  Life's trials teach me that I need God and his grace because I'm not strong enough to do it on my own.

How do you deal with life's trials?  What sees you through the tough times?  Many blessings to you and yours.