I am writing tonight in celebration of the journey. It's easy to get caught up in what isn't going well in life. It's easy for someone like me to identify the problems and seek out the answers. Unfortunately, life doesn't always offer clear cut challenges with simple solutions. Instead, life often feels like a ride on a roller coaster through a maze steeped in fog. You can get bogged down in the wrong turn, the misdirection, and the dead ends. More challenging, yet even more rewarding, is seeing the blessings, the joy, and the fun in the journey.
For months we struggled with the idea of whether or not to use medical intervention to help our son learn to control his impulsive tendencies and learn to focus in the classroom. When we finally decided to take the step to start him on medication and then it didn't work, not once but twice, it was easy to become discouraged. It was easy to want to give up. Instead, we dug deep, prayed hard, and gave it one more try. Those efforts have been rewarded with success. For the first time in a long time, we are seeing improvement in focus and impulse control. We have tweaked the med schedule at home and with the doctors to achieve the best possible results. As a team, we are beginning to see success where before there was frustration.
The medicine regime we have implemented for our son's health issues has also begun to pay off. We have had a very healthy winter season for the first time in his life. He was able to come down with an illness and successfully fight it off without an asthma flair or a steroid boost. This is also a new and exciting development. Our hard work and efforts seem to be working.
Medicine will not be able to address all of our son's unique quirks and developmental issues. Medicine cannot help him when he is fixated or having one of his rain man days. When he gets a thought, or phrase, or song, or activity stuck in his head and can't let it go, all we can do is ride it out and help him work through it. We are learning to see the humor in these moments. It can be INCREDIBLY annoying and frustrating and exhausting and heartbreaking. When you take a step back and look at it from a more detached perspective, it can be really humorous, sometimes even endearing. Not always. But sometimes.
Medical intervention will not address our son's tendency to "mouth" objects. This unconscious chewing and eating of inedible objects tends to go hand in hand with his tendency to stutter and drool. There are weeks when he does none of these things. There are weeks when it seems he does nothing BUT these things. We are learning to roll with it. It's not intentional. It doesn't appear to be controllable. We used to find it embarrassing when he did these things in public. We are now so grateful for how far he has come, that we figure if someone wants to judge him for something so out of his control, that's their problem. They are missing the opportunity to meet, and get to know, one of the most loving souls they will ever encounter. His love is boundless. If they miss that chance, I feel sorry for them, not the other way around.
We have come so very, very far in eight very short years. The journey is far from over. If there were anything that I truly pray for and honestly look forward to, it would be the ability to relax. To let my guard down. To breathe. Life for us at this time means watching, adjusting, and adapting. I pray for a down turn on that roller coaster ride before the climb up the next hill. The twists and turns are coming, of that I have no doubt. Lord, please grant me some time to breathe. Relax. Enjoy. I'll be up to your next challenge. Just give me time to refuel first.
No comments:
Post a Comment