In baseball, it's three strikes and you're out. In the legal system in many states, it's three strikes and you're out. When it comes to experimenting with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) medicines and our son's body, it will definitely be three strikes and you're out. Tonight we started our son on a new ADD medicine. I'm praying it does what it is intended to do without the negative side effects we have experienced with the two previous ADD medicines.
Coming to the decision to start our son on ADD medicines is not something we took lightly or casually. If you have read my posts in the past, or you know us personally, you know that my education and work background is in behavior management. For years, I told the neurology team that we wouldn't even consider medication. We would address our sons behaviors and our concerns through behavior management and diet. When things started getting more difficult and more challenging, I read and studied and researched. I talked to other people living through what we were experiencing, his teaching team, and his therapists. In general, I made a nuisance of myself, demanding that everyone do all that they could for my child without the benefit of medication. I was self righteous in my desire to stay medication free. It was my badge of honor that we were doing it by ourselves without medical intervention.
On the other hand, our son had an increasingly difficult time controlling his impulsiveness. He struggled to bring his energy level down to an appropriate level once over stimulated without an explosion to release the pent up energy. On top of that, his tendency to fixate inappropriately on ideas, behaviors, or objects seemed to be increasing. The combination of these behavioral tendencies was resulting in some pretty unsafe episodes that resulted in some real close calls when it came to his physical safety. It was also having an impact on his learning and his ability to learn. It was also having an impact on our family and our marriage.
The first two medicines that the neurology team tried were from the old tried and true stimulant family. They have the longest track record of use, with the most research backing their effectiveness. I know because I read, researched, and questioned until I was sure that they were a viable option. It was a logical place to start. Unfortunately, they only increased our son's tendency to fixate and his natural intensity. Our happy go lucky, love the world son began to show aggressive tendencies and angry outbursts that were not normal for him. His rain man, fixated behaviors seemed to amplify. He also seemed to be dropping a lot of weight. All told, he lost over ten pounds over the last month or two. In addition to these negative behavioral and physical side effects, the school was not seeing the desired increase in focus and productivity in school that they were hoping for. The call was made to take him off the medicines.
For the last two weeks, our son has been medicine free. He is a whirling swirling ping pong ball in a hurricane. He has torn the house apart as he bounces from one activity or idea or object to another. The idea of him completing a task or cleaning up after himself is laughable. It has been exhausting. It has also been enlightening. He has (for the most part) reverted to his old happy go lucky self. (Okay. Homework time is still a nightmare but isn't that normal for a lot of kids?) He is now eating CONSTANTLY. I hadn't realized how little he was eating until he regained his normal appetite. Sitting back (probably because I'm too tired to do anything else), it makes me very sad. It hurts to know how much he was changed by the chemicals in his body. It hurts to know that we risked the judgment and sensor of the "chemical free" parent crowd without the benefit of positive change. It hurts to know that we once again tried to make a change for the better for our son without the ability to effectively help him. Sometimes, it feels like we are beating our heads against the wall.
So tonight, we took our final leap of faith. We started him on another (and his last) ADD medicine. It is a non-stimulant called Tenex. He will take it at bedtime for four days since the primary side effect is sedation. (It's a sign that I'm a bad mother that when they told me that I actually smiled and thought "wouldn't that be nice." Just kidding. Sort of.) This weekend, he will switch to a morning and after school dosage time frame. We are all praying that it has the desired effect. I am keeping an open mind. Barring any significantly negative side effects, I am committing to at least a month or two to gauge it's effectiveness. I'm tuning out the negative voices in my head that tell me I'm a bad mother because I wasn't strong enough to make a difference for my son without medication. I will continue to read about dietary changes and behavior plans that may be beneficial if this current (and final) medicine doesn't work out. I will also continue to pray every single day that the Lord has a plan in mind for my little man; that he has him wrapped in His love; and guides us to make the choices that need to be made, even when they take us down paths that we would rather not travel. Please Lord watch over our boy and guide us.
No comments:
Post a Comment