It was the perfect day. It hadn't gone off without a hitch but that didn't matter. It was recognizing the perfection of the moments for what they were. You may be surprised by my definition of perfection.
My day started with my husband getting up with the kids and letting me sleep in. Then our oldest cooked breakfast for the family. The kids played together while we completed household chores. After lunch, my husband and our youngest went hunting together while I paid bills and my oldest and our niece played at home. Both sets of grandparents dropped in to see our niece and the boys at some point during the day. Later, we took the kids to Hooplas to play arcade games and mini bowling before eating dinner. On the way home, we looked for deer. Our day ended by putting the kids to bed, having a bowl of ice cream, and going to bed. It was all very ordinary and to some, boring. But that's because they aren't finding joy when and where they can.
What some would fail to see is the perfection in the little things. My children are well trained. When they get up, whether it be in the middle of the night, or in the morning, they come get me. I'm usually the one who gets them medicine, breathing treatments, breakfast, or a drink. This morning, my husband heard them get up and headed them off at the pass. I had had another optical migraine that had me up in the middle of the night. So instead of letting them wake me as usual, he got up with them and kept them quiet and entertained until I woke up. It was a real joy and unexpected treat.
The joy of our oldest cooking the family breakfast was the significance of the moment for me as a mother. It has always been our goal as parents to prepare our boys for independence. Our oldest son has recently begun experimenting with cooking. He is becoming more and more adept. This is important. We expect him to leave our home; go to college or some other form of training; and then find independent employment. He will need to be able to care for himself, which includes feeding and cleaning up after himself. It is encouraging to see him begin to enjoy the process of developing future independence. I can only pray that he finds a wife who is equally prepared so that they can work as partners in their new life together (may that be decades from now!!)
Our youngest went hunting with my husband for the first time this weekend. It was a simple excursion over to his grandfather's woods to go squirrel hunting. No big deal. But for him it was. Our oldest had been out in the woods dozens of times by this age but we had never trusted our youngest enough before now. His lack of danger awareness paired with his impulsive nature aren't exactly the best combination for a future hunter. Recently though, we have seen big developments, improvements, and signs of maturity in this little man. After talking, we decided it was time to give it a try. I'm so glad we did. He sat out in the woods with his Dad for nearly two hours. They never saw a single squirrel but that wasn't the point. The point was laying the foundation for future trips. Not to mention the fact, that he got to do this all by himself with Daddy. This time, HE was the big boy. In a little guy's world, that's big stuff. He told everyone who would listen this weekend that he got to go hunting with his Dad. That's pretty cool.
At Hooplas, our oldest went off on his own. My husband took charge of my niece, keeping her entertained, and trailing our oldest without infringing upon his independence. That left me free to focus all my energy on our youngest. In the past, when we have gone to Hooplas, we usually try to go at times when it is less crowded and hectic. The environment of this place usually makes my youngest child become a manic ping pong ball. This time, it was crowded. Instead of his typical manic running from game to game, this time, our youngest carefully chose which activities he wanted to do. He took his time and actually seemed to enjoy everything he did. Often, he lacks the skills to complete some of the activities or play some of the older games. Today, with his new focus, he was able to play games that were usually too hard for him. He was so proud of himself! And so was I.
Throughout the day, our boys and our niece played together nicely. Any parent can tell you that a day when your children play together peacefully with minimal fighting is a great day. Not only did they play together nicely, they supported one another. Outside, the older ones looked after their cousin. They were calm and gentle in their interactions. Those that know my boys know that calm is a miracle in itself! They read stories together. And on the trip to and from Hooplas, there was no fighting. This is the biggest miracle of all. Trips in the vehicle with my boys are usually a nightmare. We have often wished for Nascar style roll cages to be installed in the backseat so they couldn't see, hear, or reach one another. On the trip home when they sat in the backseat together singing songs, I actually started crying. It was truly the end of a very nice day.
At the end of the day, after reflecting upon all the fun we had had together, I realized one thing. I was more in love with my husband than ever. His help and our working as a team is what had made it go so smoothly. This day was better than fancy gifts or expensive vacations. It had truly been a "perfect day".
Thank you God for the ability to recognize the "perfect" moments in our life. Thank you for a loving partner who is invested in making this family work. It isn't perfect... but it is for us.
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