Chuck Wilson is credited with saying "There are two things in life in which we have complete control... effort and attitude." We recently attended our youngest son's individualized education plan (IEP) meeting. As we left the meeting, this quote was playing through my mind. I firmly believe that our efforts and attitude have begun to positively benefit our son.
If you have read my blog in the past, you know that my husband and I have worked hard to education ourselves about our son's unique developmental cycle, learning styles and health issues. We have attempted to become experts on any topic that relates to our son and his development. To do so, we have read and researched; sought out expert advise; and asked lots and lots of questions. In addition, we have educated ourselves about the processes and steps at each stage of his life. For example, as a baby, we had to learn about home based therapy services. What qualified him or disqualified him for services? What were the steps needed for insurance to cover the costs? Which services did he need or not need? What were resources available within our area?
When he transitioned to preschool age, it required learning a whole new system and process. The qualifiers for services changed. The service providers changed. The insurance qualifiers changed. We had to learn a whole new process to meet his needs.
School brought a new system, new set of procedures, new laws, new service providers, and new people to once again familiarize with our son and his "quirks". We have learned to negotiate these changes and become advocates for his needs. Now it is time for another transition. Our son is transitioning from elementary school to middle school.
It is easy when you are negotiating all these different systems and people and processes to become overwhelmed and jaded with the process. The key is attitude. The key is effort. You need to have the attitude that we are a team working for the benefit of my child. You need to make the effort to educate yourself on the process and to be the best possible advocate for your child. When you view the people within the processes and systems as part of YOUR team for YOUR child, things get done.
When we first started the school age stage, we didn't know what we know now. We learned. One of the things that we learned is that our school year is more successful if we meet with his new education team at the start of the year to educate them about our son's unique qualities. Not everyone that has attended those meetings recognized that the information we were sharing with them would benefit them and make their job/lives easier. By the end of the school year, most of them did. We saw the looks that said "Oh boy, it's "those type of parents"." I understand those looks and thoughts because I've dealt with challenging parents. I've been where they are sitting. This difference is that I have empathy for even "those parents" because they are doing the best that they know how to advocate for their child. Attitude is everything.
Some people emphasize effort without remembering attitude. As a parent, you have to see yourselves as a team working together with the doctors, teachers, and support staff for the good of your child. If you persist with a positive attitude and put in the effort, the results will begin to pay off. For us, the results of our attitude and effort paid off in the form of a GREAT IEP that will accompany our son through his transition to middle school. It has paid off by team members paving the way for us by making contact with his new team by means of telling them to listen to us, to respect our opinions. It has paid off by the current team helping us to identify the key players in the new team to contact with questions and concerns. That doesn't just happen. Hard work and persistence make that happen.
We are transitioning to middle school with an IEP that presents a clear picture of who are son is and what he needs to be successful. It identifies the tools that have worked in the past to help him achieve his goals. It spells out in succinct and clear language what he needs and how he needs it. The care and concern for our son is clearly written in the language of that very important document.
If you are entering the school age process with a child with special needs, there are great resources our there for you to educate yourself on the process. Below are two very good resources for parents negotiating this process in the state of Pennsylvania. The Pattan website is a state sponsored resource that walks you through information you need to know about the IEP process. It also has resources linked on the right hand side on other topics that may be beneficial to you and your child. The second resource is from the Pennsylvania Department of Education. There are LOTS of other resources out there to educate yourself but I caution you to use vetted, proven, researched resources.
Find people who are willing and able to support your efforts. Find people who are willing and able to support a positive attitude when it comes to your child and his/her school. There are lots of people out there who are more than willing to listen to you vent negatively about your child's school, teachers, or administrators. Those people will not help you advance your child and his/her education agenda. Find people who will. Finally, the most important advise that I have for you is to believe in yourself as an advocate and expert on your child.
http://www.pattan.net/category/Educational%20Initiatives/Parent%20Information/page/Individualized_Education_Program_IEP.html
https://www.psea.org/general.aspx?&ekmensel=e2f22c9a_8_270_btnlink&id=496
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