Vigilance

Having a child with special needs requires a heightened level of awareness and vigilance.  All children need supervision and parental guidance.  Having an active older child, I am well aware of the dangers children can find their way into.  There is a different level of diligent supervision needed for children like my youngest son.

Playground equipment has been a source of anxiety for me since our son started school.  His gross motor delays, his impulsiveness, his failure to focus on the task at hand, and my inability to be present to supervise his activity has given me more than one sleepless night.  In spite of my concerns, he has managed to play and have fun with his friends in relative safety.  There have been a few falls or accidents each year but none to serious.  Today, I got the call that he had fallen off of the climbing equipment and landed on his back.  He was checked and sent back to class, only to return forty-five minutes later, crying and saying that his back hurt.  When the nurse relayed this information to me, I told her I was on my way.  Our son rarely complains of pain.  He doesn't seem to recognize pain to the same degree that you and I may.  If he is crying and stating he is in pain, it must be bad.

Thankfully, x-rays showed that there were no fractures or broken bones.  His lumbar/thoracic region is inflamed and bruised.  He is tired and very sore but relatively unharmed.  Ironically, accidents like these are not the concerns that usually occupy my mind.  It's the day-to-day, mundane issues that distract me and fill my mind.

When you have a child with special needs, everything requires planning, thought, and preparation.  When I pack his lunch, I'm considering if his fine motor delays will impact his ability to eat his lunch successfully without him making a mess of his face and his clothes.  I've experimented with different drink containers to find the one that makes the least mess but seems the most age appropriate for a boy of nine.  The invention of squeeze tube yogurt and applesauce is a true blessing for a child that spills spoon fulls of food down the front of his shirt.  When making his sandwich, I carefully gauge just how much peanut butter and jelly is just right to not squeeze out and make a mess but still tastes appealing.  

Preparing for picture day at school means choosing a shirt with just the right pattern that will hide any food stains that he may get on his clothes before they take his picture.  If you don't have a shirt that fits that criteria, it means packing a second matching shirt that he can change into before going for his picture.  Picture day means rehearsing with him the need to make sure he washes his face after breakfast and/or lunch before going to take his picture.

There are little moments in every day life that I used to take for granted.  Most parents do.  Now I don't.  Vigilance keeps our son safe and helps him to fit in with his same age peers... Most of the time.

I also recognize the blessings that we have been given.  Our son needs vigilant supervision because he can walk, run, jump.  He needs supervised when eating because he has the ability to feed himself.  I plan his medicines and their distribution to prevent asthma flairs and illness but my son doesn't need medicines to keep him alive.  I don't need to change GI feeding tubes or colostomy bags.  My vigilance is to make his life better, more normal, more age appropriate.  We are blessed with all that our son can do independently.  Spills and accidents are a wonderful, unfortunate side effect of an active, healthy, growing boy.  Thank you God for that growth, development, and progress.