What gets you through when you feel as if you can't do it another day? How do you cope when your frustration level is maxed out? You've tried to stay positive, upbeat and encouraging but you just want to weep or scream or hit something. I don't know if all parents can relate to that bottomed out feeling of "I'm done. I don't have it in me anymore." I hope that they can. I hope that I'm not the only one.
It's funny that my children are my biggest source of joy and inspiration. They lift me up when I'm tired, or frustrated, or run down from a week of work and stress. We have two really good boys that we work hard as a family to keep that way. Yet ironically, they are often my greatest source of aggrevation and heartache. Those are the days when I look at my husband and declare, "I'm not cut out for this motherhood stuff." Am I the only one who feels this way?
I've learned to utilize a variety of "coping skills" to help me through these moments. Exercise, writing, reading, and music all help me to find my center when things feel like they may be spinning off course. The exercise has helped my body and mind. A good workout lifts my energy and spirits even when I have to talk myself into doing it. Reading helps to take me away for a short time or offers inspiration and insight when I don't have the answers. Music, especially groups like Casting Crowns and Point of Grace, helps me focus on what's really important and what my priorities really need to be. Finally, writing helps me put into words what spins and swirls through my mind. The act of putting it into words helps to arrange it, organize it, and put it in order for my mind to process.
Kids fighting in the backseat; working on homework with a tired and frustrated child; running to soccer and school events; and an obsessive-compulsive child who stutters and drools but refuses to let you finish a sentence for him. Going and going without enough sleep or time to renew your body and spirit. These are the little things that build up and make you tired deep down inside. When you add in some of life's bigger trials, it challenges the core of who you are.
Fortunately, we were given free will. Because of that, I choose time again to keep going, to try to stay positive, and to love my children and our family. It would be easier to turn and walk away but then I wouldn't have moments singing songs together around the campfire. I wouldn't be able to cuddle in bed reading bedtime stories. It would mean living without fresh picked dandelions and a little face saying, "For you because I love you Momma". I wouldn't hear belly laughs as they roll around on the floor tickling one another. Okay. I will try to stay positive; to keep the faith; to be patient and model the type of person I want them to become. They are worth it everytime. Our family is worth it. Thank you God for the patience and the fortitude to keep trying to be the mom that my boys need me to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment